My time in the arts has transformed me into a more well rounded, deep thinking individual. I do believe that, with 4 years of critical examination and barrier pushing, this growth was inevitable. However, it would be deeply ignorant to not accredit some of my specific projects, which have rewoven the very fabric of my being.

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The first of these undertakings was my construction of a ballgown, the central piece in my commentary on the top 1%. If anything pushed me to become a quality producer and a complex thinker, it was this project. In order to properly sell the story that my subject was wealthy beyond distinction, I needed to create a piece of clothing that was believable as couture fashion. To accomplish this, I had to learn several sewing techniques that were completely unknown to me: I taught myself how to use a serger, to create a mesh corset with steel boning, and to drape a skirt with cascading ruffles. 

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This process was already incredibly difficult in theory, but was only made more complicated in practice. I sat at my little Hello Kitty sewing machine for hours on end attempting to navigate through the layers of tulle, satin, and mesh. Although no materials could make this an easy job, my lack thereof only hindered me. Because I had to use cheap fabric that frayed more easily, I would often burn the raw edges to keep its integrity. 

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This newfound resilience was very unfamiliar to me in the context of art. In the past, whenever my frustration took over a project, I would immediately abandon it and return months later, if at all. This dress required me to confront the frustration and work through it for the first time.

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Regardless of these inherent difficulties, I persevered and ended up with a high quality garment; the craftsmanship of the gown even earned me a scholarship to West Valley College for fashion design. Although it was an incredibly frustrating undertaking, the making of this gown taught me that I thrive in the face of challenges. Here, I became a highly adaptable and persistent learner.

 

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Another challenging component of my portfolio involved the drafting of some "tarot" cards within the scene. These cards were incredibly important to the framing of the piece, as I used them to construe the idea of "being dealt the perfect hand" through a royal flush. This idea seemed simple enough on its own, or so I thought.

 

After discussing my plans with fellow art students, they indicated confusion toward the practical use of these cards. I had been referring to them as tarot cards, but they pointed out the fact that they were being treated like standard playing cards in the context of my piece. This critique was incredibly valuable to me, because it caused me to reevaluate the depth and application of their symbol. Although these cards were functionally playing cards, the tarot basic came into play stylistically. The art style of the cards resembled tarot decks, hinting that the images on these cards were heavily insightful to the story of my character.

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Had it not been for peer communication, an entire layer of my piece could have been lost. Luckily, I was open to the commentary this time and used it to improve the card symbolism. In the past, I was far less open to feedback, and often took it as an attack. It was difficult for me to hear that my art was problematic, so I tuned out the criticism and any potential growth. In this project, however, I realized that collaboration could lead to far more nuanced creation. Thus, I learned both to accept communication, and create clearer communication within my artwork.

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My final element of growth comes from my final piece of this project, the window. While the exact symbol of the window is somewhat ambiguous, it can be inferred that the pictured dystopia is within the human trajectory. This is meant to ignite a communal mentality of protecting the future, since the wealthy simply ignore the root. in this way, the piece itself is a community contribution.

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This piece made my portfolio well-rounded, and helped me find balance in the creative process. The window in my portfolio introduces a complication to the piece by poking a hole in the timeless wealth fabrication. The commentary lies in the fact that the window shows the reality of the world. Although the wealthy will always paint a different picture, there is no hiding from the bleak future ahead of us. 

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The window, then, demonstrates my desire to communicate the truth within my community. Without the window, the piece is aimless and close-minded, much like myself before art poked a hole in my reality. Though there is a clear societal commentary that can be draw from this piece, it shines an equally important light on my personal growth. Therefore, the window is deeply indicative of my well rounded nature. I can only attribute this part of myself to the creative investigations in which art has led me.

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